


Munchkin Quotes

by Saligia



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-27
Updated: 2011-12-27
Packaged: 2017-10-28 06:55:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/305028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saligia/pseuds/Saligia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things I think he might say.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Munchkin Quotes

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the Fullmetal Alchemist series, the charactors there of, or any products, people, places mentioned herein.
> 
> I have not seen the anime.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter entirely.

"I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong."

Judge me and I will prove you wrong, tell me what to do and I will tell you off, Say I'm not worth it and watch where I end up, Call me a Bitch and I will show you one, Fuck me over and I will do it to you twice as bad.

I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes. I'm out of control and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

Should I bring ladder so you can step out of my business?

'I admire your unbelievable stupidity'

'You can never dampen the enthusiasm of a moron.'

"I love watching Mustang think. It looks so painful."

"We want to be warned, told about the dangers, then left the hell alone to make our own decisions."

There's a book that says the world was created in 7 days; heard it was a best seller. Anyway, goes to show you, you shouldn't believe what you read in books.

I saw a short bus today and I thought of you.

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart."

"Shut the fuck up, or I'll turn you into a snowman." ::pretends to consider:: "Come to think of it, it would be an excellent way to get rid of you for good. Why haven't I thought of that before?"

"You're like a walking encyclopedia of weirdness."

"You write like you speak; I could barely understand a word."

"First the barrier from hell. Then the mountain with no trail. And now, the icing on the cake--the longest goddamn staircase in the history of mankind."

Always strive after the forbidden, and desire the things refused to you.

"The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on."

It's all fun and games until some one loses an eye ...Then it’s even funnier!

Colonel your village called, they want their idiot back.

”You think you can mess with me? Think again you canine fiend! I, EDWARD ELRIC WILL FIGHT YOU WITH MY ENTIRE BODY AND SOUL! Ed yelled as he chased the dog around the library.

I TOLD YOU CANINE FIEND THAT I, EDWARD ELRIC THE STATE ALCHEMIST WILL FIGHT YOU AND W|IN! He then started chasing the dog around the library. Everyone laughed at Ed who was chasing the dog around the room hysterically.

Yes, sir. Colonel Bastard, sir!

I SWEAR IRONY IS ONE OF THE HOMUNCULI AND HE’S FOLLOWING ME EVERYWHERE!

"I don't mind being short, but when it becomes painfully obvious or someone points it out, then I don't like it."

Pyro-koi?

We are responsible for what we are and what we become. We ourselves have determined our past and will determine our future.

Never go to bed mad, stay awake and plot horrible REVENGE!

Curiosity killed the cat; but for a while, I was a suspect.

The nine most terrifying words in any language are, “I’m from the government and I’m here to help.

A stranger world than this I have yet to visit.

"I do admit you did bring religion in my life, I never believed in hell until I met you.”

"I only asked you one favor, to die but you can't even get that right!”

I am not my coat.

I hate Mustang, he’s all, like, "SWOOSH KERBLAM IN YOUR FACE, I'M SO SEXY!"

I'M PREGNANT AND I'M TELLING MY PARENTS IT'S YOURS!

"I'm not sure what you're thinking about right now, but if you put it into action I'll cut off all relations with you."

"Given that we are three seconds from damnation, I will have to say I really, really hate you... bastard.

"You're a coconut tree!"

"Heh, good one, but you know what's really pathetic? The mentally challenged individuals that have to resort to use lame jokes to call attention to their sad, pathetic existence."

I will kill you to save my friends.

" _Godamnit_ , Roy, why'dya have to be so **dumb**?!"

I regard you with an indifference closely bordering on aversion.

"WHO YOU CALLING SEAFOOD THAT CAN BE DIPPED IN COCKTAIL SAUCE!"

"You're not interesting. I don't like you!"

You’re wearing a skirt!

"You know, sometimes I think you enjoy causing me pain."

Flee, fatass, flee!

Foolish dissimilarity is the hobgoblin of small, closed, simple non-minds.

"Lick my chocolate miniature ass."

"Hahaha god your jokes suck!”

Leave me alone...sick weirdo.

OH MY GOD! I'M STUCK IN THE TREE! CALL A FIRE TRUCK!

"Were you born stupid, or do you just try really hard?"

"Would you just stop wasting my time?"

"You know, Envy? I just realized I could kill you with your own hair."

I'm passionate...not stubborn.

Alas, parting is such sweet bliss.

When in doubt, sleep through it.

"WHO DID YOU SAY WAS A MICROSCOPIC SHORT BEAN WHO'S TOO SMALL TO BE YOUR BOYFRIEND?!"

STRESS: A condition brought on by over-riding the body's desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk that desperately deserves it.

"BACK OFF, RIZA, HE'S MINE!"

I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.

"I LOOK BETTER IN A MINISKIRT THAN MUSTANG!"

Above all, to thine own self be true.

"That's either a pretty girl, or a REALLY pretty guy."

Those who don't learn history are doomed to step it.

"We closed the case and saved the world, can't we at least take a nap?!"

If nothing is perfect and you say I'm nothing, then I’m perfect.

Envy the deranged, homicidal, gender confused, completely psychotic, break dancing palm tree.

"There are some things children’s eyes shouldn’t see...your face is one of them."

The road to success is always under construction.

Even if someone killed you, you probably wouldn’t die.

I'm looking forward to regretting this.

Me breaking the rules? No. I test their elasticity.

It's like I hate you, then I love you. Like I want to throw you off a cliff and run down to the bottom and catch you.

The report of my death was an exaggeration.

Shut up... or I’ll kill you.

I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

"I'll kill you until you die!"

T'was thy kiss, Love, that made me immortal.

Don't judge people by their relatives.

"When you talk, do you hear it, or is it like a loud roaring in your ears?"

Sometimes when I say, ‘Oh, I'm fine’; I want someone to look me in the eyes and say, ‘tell the truth.’

If I won't be myself, who will?

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.

Roy Mustang is the epitome of tall, dark, and handsome; at least to me, because I'm short.

Ah, this is obviously some strange usage of the word 'safe' that I wasn't previously aware of.

Envy thanks…now why don't you go fly off and commit suicide I’d be much happier.

"A name does not make you who you are. If you set yourself to be what others call you, then you truly are a pathetic creature indeed."

"You're not alone anymore, I'm here... I'll always be."

Yeah, I have a tendency to fall in love with cold-hearted bastards. Get real Al.

How many smiles can one person actually fake?

Argh! I **hate** it when you do that! With that...smug look...and the leer! Stop it!"

"MAN WHORE!"

"Sarcastic remarks already? Nice eyepatch by the way. Too bad it couldn't cover your mouth, too."

“Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected the expected?"

This is the scene where you declare your undying hatred for me.

"I'm sorry, but I don't know any words small enough for you to understand.”

"I'm not a tease; I'm just a reminder of what you can’t have.

Watch it, Pyro!

"Envy is ignorance; imitation is suicide. So what does that make you Aniki?"

"How dare you call me small! I'll tear off your feet and stick 'em on your head!"

"Why can't you just die?"

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

"Don't like my driving? Then quit watching me."

“Get away…Your stupidity is contagious.”

“It's hard to answer the question, ‘what’s wrong?' when nothing is right”

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

"You just broke the stupidity level, nice work."

"Like I said, let's take care of those kids first. It's been a while since I've killed anyone. I kinda miss it...wanna watch?"

"Some of the worst sinners are the world's happiest people."

“How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?”

"Even in the darkest times, I will be the hand to set you free."

No messing with me.

"I can kill you with a tray if I so wished, for I would hack at your neck with the thin bit until the blood flowed across the canteen floor."

People can be divided into three groups. Those who make things happen. Those who watch things happen. Those who wonder what happened. Congratulations on being the captain of the third group.

People are morons. I don't have any other explanation. I really don't.

If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it.

Love is beautiful, love is painful, and love is indescribable...Damn that's cheesy... better scratch that... and now moving on...

Smile, and the world will smile back at you. Laugh, and they'll all think you're on drugs.

The closer you get, the slower I go.

The only things that fall from the sky are bird shit and fools.

Envy is my favorite cross dressing palm tree.

"I'm not annoying, you're just boring."

All right, I admit it; I’m gay, but not as gay as the Backstreet Boys.

Haha, fear the cute things, for they will eat you!

"You may have created my past, and screwed up my present, but you have no control over my future."

"I'm not small, I'm compact."

Military Intelligence is an oxymoron.

“Did you eat a lot of paint chips as a child?”

"For the love of god Envy, do not attack me with your skort...or any other fabric of clothing you have on you...please keep it on."

"Someone is trying to murder Mustang?...Can I help?"

"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."

"It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird."

The road to hell is paved with Mustang’s ideas.

:shiver: I see **tall** people!

I used to be normal until I met these idiots called my brothers.

Even black hearted monsters can love.

If there was any such thing as filth incarnate, this was it.

(talking about Envy) "That's right. No matter how you look at him, he makes a pretty girl. Bwa ha ha!"

'I DO NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS!!!!'

'I'm tired of everyone asking, "What's wrong?” They should know the answer, “Nothing, I’m fine,” and I'm really tired of lying.

"I smile at your suffering because I know for a fact that you deserve it."

"Where does it say you gotta live and die here?"

I don’t have sex with everything under the sun, unlike some people.

I have the most mental brothers in the world, one’s older and the other’s younger, damn I'm in the middle!

"Short! Who are you calling short. You just come from a land of giants."

Come here so I can bite you.

"I think you just smoked yourself into retardation."

"I need a pizza so big it has its own gravitational field!"

I must be really frustrated...I mean, I am. I am right frustr—whoa...the room...where is it going?  
…and those boxes are about as straight as Martel on New Year's eve.  
And—flying boxers. Damn flying boxers

"Mistrust all enterprises that require new clothes."

"Evaporate tall person!"

"Don't fix me, I'm not broken..."

Is your brain broken or something?

I’m not in the mood for stupid or retarded people…so leave me alone.

With age comes wisdom...of course you have yet to show me that.

What’d you say, punk!! A kid!? (kid=little) Are you calling me a half-pint!!

My scars remind me of things in which I can not forget. To forget such things is to forget life itself...Who wants to forget life? ...not I...not I...

"Damn - you completely ruined my coat!"

Give me one good reason to keep on trying.

Fate & Destiny are two _different_ things.

'Colonel, you redefine what it means to be a moron.'

"..battered, confused, even when we're beaten, and about to collapse... even when we know it's pointless we always stand back up. And if we can't, our friends will lift us."

Why don't you just go jump off a cliff?

"Don't touch me! ARRRG!"

Your stupidity astounds me.

I rule so KISS my chibi ASS!

Meet Colonel Roy Mustang: High ranking military official...Smooth talking ladies man...Lazy bastard.

“Your uselessness is epic!”

Mustang is infuriating when he has that 'I know your secret, so there,' smirk.


End file.
